


Is there anything I could do for you to see me ?

by soulhead



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Astral Projection, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 06:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30000774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulhead/pseuds/soulhead
Summary: If Lando was content for a time to just enjoy the convenient agreement Charles and he instinctively forged when they first slept together, he now yearns for so much more.But no matter what he tries, Charles keeps cowering almost visibly every time he feels brave enough to ask for love instead of lust.Or, Lando get granted the ability to see the life of his soulmate through his dreams when he reaches his 15th birthday. Yet, 6 years later, Lando feels just as alone as if he was born without soulmate.
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Lando Norris
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	Is there anything I could do for you to see me ?

Lando is nineteen years old when he first begins to understand what it means to be truly and utterly alone.

He's laying on a bed of a nameless hotel, the lingering taste of his soulmate's lips still on his own and he feels stupidly lonely. Beside him Charles is sound asleep, his back turned against him. As usual, now that the fever between them has subdued, Lando is left laying on his back, utterly clueless as to what to say or do next.

«Do you want to play a round of Fifa ?» he whispers into the air carefully, already waiting for the almost inevitable rejection that will follow.

No one answers him.

«Charles ? Are you still awake ?» he asks louder.

With no reaction from Charles, Lando feels his heart plummets heavily as he watches the still figure of the man he shares his bed with.

His soulmate is only a few centimeters out of his reach and yet it seems a physical rift separates them, Lando muses dejectedly.

With a sigh, he pushes the bed sheets over his shoulders, making sure Charles's bare body is covered as well. Then, he reaches for the lightswitch next to his nightstand to shut the light off.

Slowly, he pushes himself closer to Charles and lets his lips brush the nape of his neck for a few stolen seconds.

«Good night.» he whispers, before retreating back to his side of the bed and closing his eyes.

He has no time for yet another sleepless night contemplating where Charles and he stands, not when his body will make him feel harshly every second of rest he missed tomorrow.

A minute pass. Then two and then ten more.

Yet, as much as he tries to relax, Lando's mind obeys its own rule and it starts reeling with how much his entire body burns with the desire to get closer to Charles. He wants to feel his back against his chest, to wrap both his arms around his lean waist and to feel the warmth of his body instead of the chilly air of the hotel room against his skin.

He wants to be just like any other pair of soulmates.

He _wants_. So much.

But with the outlines of Charles's figures huddled up on itself on the far right of the bed, those needs roaming through his body feel almost forbidden.

It's strange in a way how when their actions are dictated by a hunger resonating in unison through their mind, everything seems so much easier.

In those moments, he's allowed to let his hands paint the outline of Charles's figure. He can listen to the hitches of his breath whenever his fingers pass over a particularly sensitive spot of his : the shape of his collarbones, the outline of his shoulders or the insides of his tights being only a few of them. Sometime, if he's lucky enough he can even let his fingers thread into Charles's hair and admires his blissed out expression before quietening the whimpers threatening to fall out of his tongue.

Those are the few privileges Charles indulges him before he retreats back into his shell and Lando is left in the dark about how to behave around him.

And Lando could be content with just those little opportunities he's got to be close to his soulmate. For the first few months, he was.

Now though, he yearns to get past the physical relationship they have, past this convenient agreement they've been stuck in.

But the few times Lando dared to ask for _love_ instead of lust, Charles had visibly cowered and behaved as if he just had been scorched by his words.

So he learned to not ask anymore.

A wave of anxiety slowly rises inside him and he feels the promise of a restful night of sleep slowly escaping him. Lando slowly averts his eyes from the sleeping form of his soulmate and watches absentmindedly the ever-changing lights of the city's horizon he can see through the windows of the bedroom.

To change his mind, he imagines the life of the people whose apartment's lights still shine brightly through the night.

In the far away windows that are still illuminated, he imagines the pictures of soulmates who must be newly married, freshly arrived from another city and looking to begin their new life together. Maybe some couples are a mess of anxiety as they share their first date night together. Some others pair of soulmates could be arguing about something as trivial as the location of their next holidays.

He even visualizes some people living there alone. They may still look restlessly for their soulmates without knowing all their waiting came to an end the moment their new neighbour laid their first moving box in their own flat down the hall. In the windows that are obscured, he imagines apartment filled with kids already fast asleep and parents enjoying a rare but welcome moment of quietness as the night fall.

Yet, among all of those different people that could be living in those buildings he wonders where Charles and him could ever belong.

With a shaky sigh his mind wanders back to the times where Charles being his soulmate felt like a bright promise.

He still remember how it felt when he reached his 15 th  birthday and he first caught glimpse of his soulmate's life through his dreams. The moment he's been waiting for since he heard for the first time his mother's tale of souls linked to one another.

Everything had seemed so hopeful, so right when it first happened.

One moment he was dozing off on his sofa during one of the rare movie night with his family he could take part of, then in a blink of an eye he was in a bedroom that wasn't his own. Looking around and as confused as he was, he first remembers thinking that clearly his need to decorate his own room was growing out of control if he started to dream about a bedroom he never stepped foot into.

As he was pondering how to finally convince his parents to allow him to put as many posters as he was watching on the walls of this room, he suddenly froze entirely when he realized how _awake_ his senses felt.

 _This wasn't a normal dream_ , he thought. Everything around him was too detailed : the objects he touched had a weight and a distinct texture to them. Even the pale moonlight illuminated the room in a way he knew his subconscious could never replicate so accurately.

His mind had almost instantly started to reel while he remembered all he's heard about dreams that were as vivid as the one he was experiencing. Dreams that were very much real and were actually an insight into his soulmate's life. His throat had constricted just at that thought. Could it be ? Could he be in his soulmate's bedroom, on the verge of seeing them for the first time ?

His eyes then fell on a small desk on his left where what looked like mathematics books were scattered all over its surface. Through the obscurity of the room, he could decipher the name « _Charles_ » written in messy cursive on of the the notebook.

Then, the door opened and Lando hastily turned over to face a boy who was carrying in his hands a good dozen of comic books that he carefully began to arrange on his bookshelf.

For a fraction of a second, Lando had the impression their eyes had met and as he looked into the young boy's eyes, his thoughts became increasingly clear : this was his soulmate. . In a trance, he watched Charles avert his eyes, obvious to his presence in his room and walked past him to sit on the bed with a comic book. Chills run down his spine, he felt he was like a ghost in this horror movie he's watched a few months ago. Unable to be seen, to be heard. For a while he tried to remember all his parents had said about their own experience as soulmates. Somehow, none of their words seemed to do justice to what he was living and he felt lost.

To appease his mind, he focused his attention back on Charles. Even obscured as it was in the dim lights of the room, his face had looked somewhat familiar to him and yet, he couldn't concentrate on anything long enough to try to remember if they had already crossed path before.

Probably not, he thought while his gaze never left his soulmate and a growing sense of euphoria started to wash over him. He was lucky enough already for this vision, his meeting with his soulmate will probably have to wait.

His heart hammering in his ribcage, Lando sat next to Charles and tried to read over his soulmate's shoulder. Somehow it seemed to him at that time that discovering what kind of superheroes his soulmate was into would already tell him a lot about him.

Disappointingly, the characters on the comic book's pages didn't remind him of anything.

So, for an undefined amount of time he settled his curiosity by watching every expressions that appeared on Charles's face as he turned the pages of his book. The boy seemed lost far away in a distant world where superheroes existed.

And Lando had thought in this moment that he couldn't wait to meet him in real life to see if it really was possible for a human being to look this ethereal.

Then, he remembers how the need to establish any form of contact with his soulmate built into him, before his left hand slowly raised in the air to brush Charles's forearm. Unsurprisingly, his soulmate hadn't reacted to the touch and remained totally obvious to his presence.

Lando sat then silently, content for now to just be able to witness such a small glimpse of Charles's life. Inside him a soothing warmth had started to spread in his chest, one that made him recall how his father described his own first dream of his mother. He himself didn't know how to explain it, but his mind felt strangely silent, at peace the more he learned to be familiar with the outline of his soulmate's face.

«Charles ! C'est l'heure de manger !» a woman's voice had screamed suddenly, startling them both.

«J'arrive tout de suite maman !» Charles answered before walking hurriedly out of the room.

«Wait !» Lando said, trying to stop him from leaving. _He didn't want their first meeting to end so abruptly, not when he didn't know when he'll dream of him next !_

Charles briefly froze, looked back almost as if heard him before he turned over and hastily threw the comic book on his desk.

And as Charles closed the door behind him, Lando's vision began to grow blurrier until he fell into unconsciousness.

When he woke up, he was back inside the same house he's grown up in, surrounded by the same heavy blanket his mother always laid over him whenever he fell asleep on the sofa. For a small fraction of seconds, dread filled him when he realized this unique moment of peace, of closeness with his soulmate was over. Yet, at the same time he couldn't help the smile that instinctively bloomed on his lips when he imagined what his next time dreaming about his soulmate could be like.

In the weeks following, his dreams of Charles started to be more frequent. Each time, he learned more of him : his family, his hometown, his interests. One rainy afternoon, he eventually realized why his soulmate's features had seemed familiar to him when he watched a rerun of the last F2 race in Monza.

His soulmate was Charles Leclerc.

The same driver his friend Max kept complaining about whenever he raced against him, the same Charles Leclerc who was rumored to get a F1 seat next year.

Once he realized that, he spent the entire evening looking at every picture he could find of his soulmate on the internet. And soon enough, Charles's pretty eyes that almost always shone with a mirthful glint soon started to haunt not only his night but his daydreams as well.

Looking starry-eyed at his computer, everything seemed to make sense at that point. His soulmate would be someone who would be sharing the same unique job as he did. There was even a chance that if they both made it into F1, they would race side by side and he just couldn't wait until he would meet him in real life. He had so much to tell him, so much to learn and to share with him.

And so, despite his increasingly busier schedule as he started to prepare for his first year in F3 and even if Charles visibly spoke english, he berated his dad for an entire day to start taking up french lessons.

He needed to learn his soulmate's language, to master all it's strange vowels and harsh r's, just so he could watch the look of surprise on Charles's face when he would greet him in his native language.

He absolutely had to.

Even if his brain could still barely comprehended how someone that spoke an entirely different language than him could be his soulmate.

Even if each time he envisioned a new fragments of Charles's life, he woke up the following day already impatient for his next dream to come.

Even if his soulmate seemed to live a life so different than his own despite their same career's path.

Even if his soulmate was a _boy_.

None of those things mattered.

Because from the start, there wasn't a lot of things Lando wasn't willing to do just to feel closer to the soul that had taken residence in his dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter should be up in 2 weeks (for the first grand prix of the season !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), please leave a kudo or a comment if you liked it !


End file.
